swaggie2nope:

i cant old sport understand old sport your accent

gokudezi:

gokudezi:

Today this girl walked into class, looked around and asked “are there any teachers around?” and when we said no she pulled a lizard out of her shirt

epic-humor:

jakemalik:

jakemalik:

jakemalik:

can’t sleep, guess i’ll go eat everything in my fridge

SOMEONE HELP

screwu anons

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the number of inches you leave my door open is the number of inches the depth of my knife will be in your chest

(Source: marypoppinthatpussy)

toadlyoko:

So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era. 

thegirlwhowaitedforthetardis:

grapefruitshampoo:

nerdographer:

Maybe Moriarty was trying to write ‘I <3 U’ on the apple but he messed up and was too embarrassed to ask for another one

so he killed sherlock instead

(Source: lissaraptor)

(Source: ayoson)

repeating-serenity:

my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”